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with apologies to Paul, John, and all Scots linguists

‘Twas twenty years ago today
that this laddie cam tae toun tae stay
He’s bin gaun back ‘n’ forth a while
but noo for ever oan this isle
So let us introduce tae you
the chap ye’v kent fur a’ thae years
Scotty bides in Glesca ever mair!

Glasgow, 12 July 2021


A lively knees-up, with a lot of mishmash
Brash, trash, clash, gnash, splash, and a whole lotta flash!

Perhaps a bit sottish? It was very Scottish
Did anyone vet it? Non-Scots wouldn’t get it

Starting off with a trip by a warbling Barrow man
in tacky heather suit, atop tartan tourist van

Clichés galore, and whisky, what’s more
Tartans, bagpipes and golf—did someone cry ‘Fore!’?

Teacakes in foil, plus crooning by Boyle
Glasgow kiss redefined, prejudice left behind

Forth Bridge supported by the national drink
Not amber, but orange (just have a think)

Nessie and Dolly, those heavenly creatures
Just two of the wonders our bonnie land features

Duke of Wellington sporting his cone
Finally! Council this does condone

Athletes’ parade, with mascots in tweed
With each delegation did a wee dug precede
And last, but not least, the Scots in their tartan
Despite the carfuffle, they did look quite smart in
their kilts and their shawls (perhaps a bit loud?)
Yet what’s not to like, they do us all proud!

McGregor and comrades, the ones who persuade
to put children first, in sync we can aid
by texting a fiver, UNICEF can provide
vital help for all bairns Commonwealth wide

Big Yin offers tribute to the great Mandela
Freedom of the City did we give to that fella
Followed by South African singing with flair
Scots’ call for a society multiracial and fair

Prince Imran confused, the Queen not amused?
Baton freed by Hoy, to Her Majesty’s joy

Fireworks to follow, all around the Clyde
With nary a blowdown, preserving Glasgow’s pride

Reviews that came after included the following
Yet we’ve not the time for self-pity wallowing
‘kitsch’, ‘awful’, ‘energetic’, ‘colourful’ and ‘brilliant’
Just goes to show that the Scots are resilient

To borrow some lines from Karen‘s review
I couldn’t fit in all that I wanted to
Just ran out of time (and space), so skipped out a few
The people of Scotland–indeed, just like you!

Ab Fab event, eleven days to excite
Welcome to Glasgow, and have a good night!

from Glasgow via Aalborg, den 23. juli 2014


A feast was laid on: “Eintopf”, “smörgåsbord”
performed by a dancing, drumming horde.

“Dog’s breakfast” in Britain
from those who weren’t smitten
Not done till dogs’ dinners
leave time for the winners!

Still, I’m not so skittish
it was very British
Did anyone vet it?
non-Brits couldn’t get it.

Not wholly a cynic
Great: Ormond Street clinic!

Olympic flame, such a beauty
in performing its duty.

Brunels were dancing
Britain’s progress advancing.

Recalled Seven-Seven, plus Double Oh Seven
Indeed, Liz’s jump seen afar from Devon.

Music by Rattle, accompanied by Bean’s
keyboard, plus Pearly Kings and their Queens.

Athletes parading
where are they from?
procession seemed endless
brains turning numb.

Enlighten us, please, what did you see?
What, pray tell, was your cup of tea?
I beg you, though, not to repeat
in this situation, no need to compete!

Ab Fab event, a fortnight to excite
Great Olympics to all, and to all a good night!

from Aalborg

Today we honour Alan Turing
a man whose activities during
the Second World War out at Bletchley
are forever in our minds etched; he
and his mates cracked the Enigma.
Still, he had to live with the stigma
of his gayness not being acceptable
yet he found it all delectable.

Despite what the history books say
that his tragedy was to be gay
we now hear his end may have been
a mishap, to much our chagrin.

But let’s not dwell on bereavements
and focus on his achievements.
Was he the ‘Father of Computing’?
Others, too, but I’m not disputing.

Thanks to the BBC for reporting this story
http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-18561092

from Aalborg

A week of fab weather, a romp in the heather?
There’s lots to be found around here.
Storm clouds now expected, but we’re not dejected
just strap on the wet weather gear.

You’ll be needing your wellies whilst eating Pimms jellies
and hoisting a glass to the Queen.
Sixty years on the throne, we’ve been jolly well shown
of royals she’s truly the dean.

Now, let’s not be skittish, we’re proud to be British
despite all the whinging and whining.
We do love a blether, a knock at the weather
yet clouds have their own silver lining.

Thanks to Kay Cullen for the unintentional inspiration for the jellies

on the train to Roskilde

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